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| i can truly say that i have found Him :)
after many efforts and 2 months of lying,
i got there. where? my place of happiness.
it's right now, right here. this is it..
i was gone for a little, very lost. so lost,
i couldn't find my way back for so long.
but here i am, no question as to where.
but some things never change..
whether it's good or bad, i'm still too nice. i still care too much about the well-being of others. i still have high hopes and expectations of myself and others. i still think my mentality is the most logical. i still think those that can't stay true to their word are close to meaningless. i still wish for this world to be good and pure, i know it's not, but maybe, just maybe, my world will be. actually, i know it will be.
so here's the plan:
there is no plan. i no longer want to set myself up for failure by relying/trusting in the words of others. i trust in myself and what i can do for me, but most of all, i trust in Him. i'm going to be successful, in both life and love. that's right, i'm getting my fairytale and i hope that by now i'm smart enough to not fall for an illusion or a dream never come true. i'm going to aspire for exactly what i want, and you know what, i'm going to get it :) | | |
| the option is up to me, the call is mine to make.
once all the anger disappears, this is what's left.
feelings of hate no longer exist, but feelings do.
i want so much to believe that this is it, it's you.
the thing is, i know it's not, i just want it to be.
too much damage, incapable of being mended.
and after all that, why do i still want it to be you?
i'll get over it eventaully, i'll "just let go" one day.
i'm not on the prowl, just waiting, very patiently.
stay strong, let january live on, new beginnings. | | |
| trains, ships, cars, you name it. | | |
| i got my period, that's a relief.
i got my internship with channel 933!
i bought a nixon watch, expensive but dope.
i went to the gym, feeling sexy already.
today, i was truly happy, it's been so long. | | |
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